Hard times are no stranger to any of us. At some point in our lives we all experience periods of disappointment, pain or difficulty. Today is no different. For some of us, there is a rising fear of the unknown that presses hard on our emotions and causes our mind to drift to thoughts that lead to uneasiness and anxiety. No person wants to feel out of control, yet in the current state most of us feel as if, at least a portion, of our lives are beyond our control. As I look back at times in my life that were hard to walk through, I thought it would be healthy to examine what positive things came from those difficult times. Here is my attempt at some open self-examination, with the hope of giving us a healthier outlook to the current COVID-19 crisis we find ourselves in.
When I was ten years old my parents were commissioned as missionaries with the International Mission Board. The family knew that this move was coming, there had been a lot of planning in the years prior. We had an old map on our kitchen wall with pins in locations around the world that we would possibly move to. In the months prior to the move I remember selling or giving away most of our possessions, and whatever was left was crammed in a storage shed placed in my grandparent’s back yard. I remember my brother having to give away his extensive G.I. Joe collection to a neighbor kid that played with us regularly. No telling how much that would be worth today! We wept as we left family and friends, and as a youngster it felt like my world had come to an end. There would be no fulfilling my dreams of being a high school football star, becoming a professional bull rider, or working to get my own car at the age of sixteen. All was lost, or so it seemed, nothing good could come from this experience. We would miss Christmases and birthdays with family. My identity seemed to be stripped from me very quickly.
In the eight years to follow I gained so many wonderful experiences and had my life shaped in ways I could never have imagined. I got to travel to and experience the cultures of over seven different countries. I was exposed to many languages and subcultures that shaped the way I view the world. I experienced a plethora of things that many of my peers will never get the pleasure of being exposed to. I ate food that was so wonderful that the thought of it makes me smile. I came away from those years “cultured” in a way that no book or schooling could produce. Today I look back at those years fondly, and sometimes long to go back and experience those things again. In the moment, I often did not realize my good fortune, but today I can see that my time spent overseas had a much more positive impact on my life than any of the perceived losses in my life.
After marrying Bekah in 2001, we were broke, and I mean broke! We were both in college, working multiple low paying jobs, just trying to survive. At the time we didn’t really know how broke we were. I remember my youngest brother staying with us one summer, living a carefree life. One evening, my brother came home about dinner time and inquired what we had to eat. I told him that beans and cornbread were on the menu. His shoulders slumped as he let out a sigh. He reminded me that we had eaten beans for the entire week and pleaded that we go to Arby’s and get the 5 for $5 deal. I, irritated and bummed at the same time, responded that I would love to get Arby’s sandwiches, and that if he had the $5 to spare I’d gladly drive him to retrieve them. He promptly turned toward the door and went to our grandparent’s house to scrounge something else for dinner, possibly convincing my grandmother to take him out for Arby’s. Bekah and I didn’t have much any expendable income. We didn’t go on any vacations during this time in our lives. We didn’t eat out often, if at all, we lived a fairly simple life. Though there were disappointments and hardships, we always have a good laugh when we talk about that time in our early marriage. We spent a lot of time together, we learned to be best friends. We worked in the yard together, messed with our animals, and gardened. I learned to appreciate deep conversations with Bekah, appreciating her mind. I learned how hard of a worker she was. It was during this time that our relationship was really solidified and we became a team, pulling the rope in the same direction.
A few years later I deployed to Afghanistan with the 45th Infantry. This was eighteen months of stress, stress, stress. At some point I resigned to the fact that I wasn’t coming out of this alive, waking up every day thinking that it was my last. I experienced evil in a way I had never before, saw death up close and personal, and felt truly distant from my wife and extended family. This was one of the most trying times in my life. I was deployed with my youngest brother, and we didn’t have a very good relationship at this time. One night he woke me up, and I could see the sheer panic and fear on his face. My brother began to tell me about the near miss his platoon had just gone through. Something happened that night, my little brother grew up, that’s as well as I can explain his transformation. Our relationship changed after that night as well, we became good friends in a way we hadn’t been since childhood. My deployment changed my relationship with my brother, helped me see clearly the things in life that were important and adjust my priorities in life. This difficult time changed my perspective, and I like to go back in my mind and revisit what the world looked like with the lenses I brought back from that period in my life.
As we go forward with this uncharted territory in 2020 looking into the unknown, I hope we can approach our experience with minds expectant of the positives that will come rather than focusing on the negatives. May we use this experience to readjust our priorities and refocus what we want in life. May we look for ways that we can be gracious and caring for others who may find this experience more trying than we do. May we use this time to share the love of Christ and the hope we have in Him. We’ll get through this, it’s not going to be easy, but we’ll make it. Stay strong, remember that God is still in charge. And to steal from our cousins across the ocean, “Keep calm and carry on.”
~Garrett